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Why You Shouldn’t Overthink Playtime

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As parents, we spend lots of time thinking about our kids—especially now, when everyone’s working and learning together under one roof. Carving out moments to bond and create a separation between work and play in your space is more necessary than ever. “[Play] is what children spend their time immersed in. It’s really where they process the world around them to help it make more sense,” says Miriam R. Aframe, PsyD., a psychologist in private practice and mom to two toddlers, 3 and 5 years old, in Westborough, Massachusetts. 

And playtime activities—like your child pretending to be his favorite Thomas & Friends™ character or setting up elaborate scenes with her trusted tracks and trains—are key to kids’ development, allowing them to work out problems and fine-tune their motor skills. “It works on their autonomy, their communication, their language, their logical sequencing, and their problem solving,” explains Aframe. The best part? When you’re playing with your toddler or preschooler, you’re already likely to be helping them foster these abilities without even realizing it. Here, Aframe explains how, with tips on ways to make playtime even more meaningful.

Mom and child

The Upside of Undivided Attention   

The simple act of playing with your child is valuable in and of itself. “Honestly, just sitting on the floor with your child without your phone and joining them in their play does a lot, because it shows that your child is the most important thing to you in that moment,” explains Aframe. This boosts your bond and creates a lasting connection. “A strong attachment to one or more adult figure at this age helps a child to feel secure in the world, and it influences their relationships, even into adulthood,” she says. Aframe suggests sticking with a 30-minute uninterrupted play session, an ideal time frame to keep everyone engaged. And if it helps cut distractions, leave your phone in another room—something she sometimes does as a parent herself. 

A Boost to Independence  

At the same time, imaginative play also encourages kids to trust themselves. “Play helps children to increase their autonomy because they’re in charge and they’re doing their own thing,” explains Aframe. To that end, during playtime, let them take the lead. “So much of children’s lives is beyond their control and is dictated by us, so it’s really important that they feel in control of their imaginary world,” she says. Plus, by doing so, you get a front-row seat to what your child is thinking, how they resolve problems, and how they tackle teamwork, says Aframe. 

Similarly, play gives kids a chance to stretch creative muscles. Don’t worry about showing them how to play something “the right way” (like a train having to go in a certain direction) or turning playtime into a lesson (like holding up a cow and asking what sound it makes). “Play is where your kid gets to say that the cow [says] meow and think that that’s hilarious,” she advises. And if your toddler or preschooler is gravitating toward the same toys over and over, go with it. “If you are now playing trains for the 500th time, play trains for the 500th time. There’s a reason that your child is going toward that. There’s something about it that’s really meaningful for them,” she says. 

Encouraging Storytelling and Problem Solving 

“[Play] helps with logical sequencing, as they’re putting the beginning, middle, and end of a story together,” explains Aframe. But it doesn’t have to just be pretend: Re-enacting a Thomas & Friends™ episode allows children to exercise those same skills—the show encourages storytelling, which perfectly guides them to frame their favorite characters into their own unique narrative that builds upon what they’ve watched. “And then, as they get older, they do the more complex things of making up their own stories and trying to make them make sense. The characters in their pretend play will get into scrapes and disagreements, and working on that in their play will then help them to be able to manage similar situations in real life,” explains Aframe. That’s what’s great about the open-ended play, adventure, and creative engagement that kids discover in Thomas & Friends™ toys and activities—it allows them to do just that. 

Kicking Language Skills Into High Gear 

Conversation is a given during playtime—and it has a major benefit: “You don’t even realize the new words that you’re bringing up in being in play with your child,” explains Aframe, who says the back-and-forth helps clue them in to communication styles. Also great? If you’re a parent who loves doing voices, as when a character is sad or mad, lean into that, since it can help kids explore their emotions and perspective, says Aframe. “If you have a toddler who is really rambunctious and moves around a lot and you are a character who is soft and slow, but still has really cool ideas and interesting things to say, then you can show your kid that you don’t have to be really loud and over the top in order to do cool things and say cool things and have cool ideas,” she explains.

Overall, playing together is a great way to spend time with your child. Says Aframe: “Just to feel free to be silly and bring out the child that’s in you—and if you do that, then your kid is going to be absolutely thrilled.”  

Make playtime fun and engaging with Thomas & Friends™.

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