Mom at Last

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Tricia Russo wanted nothing more than to have a child. But the metastatic breast cancer patient wasn’t sure it was even possible. Here’s how she went about it.

Breast cancer was the last thing on Tricia Russo’s mind—and that of her doctor—when, at 30, she felt a lump in her breast and noticed she was more worn out than usual. She had no family history, no other risk factors, so the doctor gave her the “all clear.” Both personally and professionally, the New Jersey native had hit her stride. After earning an MFA in film production, she and her husband, Greg, a screenwriter, moved to Los Angeles. She worked long hours as an executive assistant in production, gunning for that next big promotion. 

It wasn’t until 6 months later, in December 2011, when she felt pain in her breast and armpit, that Tricia was diagnosed with stage 2B breast cancer. Within 3 days, she started a year of treatment for the disease. While the treatments were successful, Tricia began having violent headaches the following February, which led to the discovery of a large brain tumor. Tricia’s breast cancer had metastasized to her brain, also known as stage 4 cancer. Unlike earlier stages of breast cancer, metastatic breast cancer (MBC) is incurable. (Up to 1 in 3 people with breast cancer develop MBC. As of 2017, there were approximately 155,000 people in the U.S living with the disease.)

Despite the diagnosis, Tricia and Greg had an intense desire to start a family. As the eldest of five children, she had always felt comfortable in a maternal role. Just as baby fever hit in 2014, Tricia decided to pick up a video camera and started chronicling her journey. For a while she’d been struggling to pinpoint some sort of meaning or purpose in the whole ordeal. Filming her experiences became a conduit for those emotions, and ultimately the perfect marriage of her skills, passions and circumstances. 

Tricia chronicled her doctor visits, and her discussions with specialists about her options for building a family. After doctors told her that in vitro fertilization wasn’t an option, Tricia met a therapist who would change everything. “This was someone who specialized in helping young people with cancer,” Tricia says. She walked her through the options, in terms of fostering, adoption, surrogacy.

Tricia’s path to motherhood ultimately became a 90-minute documentary, Love Always, Mom, which has since screened at 6 film festivals across the country and won 3 Best Documentary Awards and 2 Audience Awards. In the film, Tricia and her husband confront the hardest topics imaginable: Is it selfish to have a child when you know you have an incurable disease? What happens if you’re not around to see this baby grow up? What makes a mother? What kind of relationship do you want to have with a surrogate and egg donor, if any? 

In November 2016, the couple’s son, Grayson, was born, to a family overflowing with love, as well as an egg donor and surrogate who remain warmly connected with Tricia to this day.

Making the film helped her connect with people everywhere about living with MBC and the options for people seeking to build a family in non-traditional ways. “I hope it makes people feel they’re not alone in struggling with a dual diagnosis of cancer and infertility.” But even for a general audience, the film still hits home. “It’s about how to live a meaningful life; how to build a legacy.”

Today, Tricia and Greg are working to raise visibility for MBC. Their efforts are very much in line with the bold message of the Novartis “Kiss This 4 MBC” campaign, in which both those with the disease and their biggest supporters share candid thoughts about and advice for living with MBC. Grayson, now 2, starts preschool in the fall. Based on statistics, Tricia’s cancer will likely progress at some point, but she’s come to understand that its very nature is the essence of life. “We all have challenges in life.  Joy doesn't exist without pain. That's life: you have to accept the bad with the good but then, as I like to say, write your own story." Fortunately, Tricia is committed to showing others how to live fully, whatever their circumstances.